Actually hit canvas today, brave girl that I am. Acrylics still a love hate relationship with me. In fact I still have some brushes downstairs that need to be washed. I am so lazy. Auctioning off this one with a riddle on FB. Need some fun....

What though the radiance
which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

-- William Wordsworth
A fellow artist once told me that we'd never paint
anything as beautiful as the written word
when I read this poem, I know he is right.

---

....is there where i'm supposed to say thank you

Back to feeling overworked and under-appreciated, like half the rest of the world. But, painted all day. Created some nice work on my own time and feel really good about that. I feel like every girl gets a little closer to what I'm trying to achieve. Starting to put polymer gloss on the pages. Feeling the value, the need to preserve. So I've got to be going in the right direction artistically. Now if I didn't have to spend half my life going to school and work, I really might get somewhere as am artist, but I do feel like I'm moving in the right direction. Maybe getting just a little bit sassy about it too. Took a chance on a far out hair color and loved it. Hopefully moving toward individual style. Night....

Broken

I changed this. She is broken. I love the word broken, it says so much with one word. My girl has been broken, by life, a lover, a family member or a circumstance. So, like the song, what becomes of the brokenhearted? Do they heal, and if they do, what heals them? Time, anger, work, love or space? The swirling lines suggest questions like these. Where do you go, which road do you take to get back from broken and lost?

"Walls"
Some days are diamonds
Some days are rocks
Some doors are open
Some roads are blocked



But you got a heart so big
It could crush this town
And I can't hold out forever
Even walls fall down

And all around your island
There's a barricade
It keeps out the danger
It holds in the pain

Sometimes you're happy
Sometimes you cry
Half of me is ocean
Half of me is sky

But you got a heart so big
It could crush this town.
and I can't hold on forever,
even walls come down....

And some things are over
Some things go on
And part of me you carry
Part of me is gone

I love the last verse because it profoundly describes how love can uplift, but also deplete and take away and diminish one's soul. Every time someone hurts you there is a piece of you that is no longer there. I could talk forever abou this, but Petty uses brief phrasing to say so much. I can only respond with paint on a page.

We tend to draw and paint ourselves and in my case, a much younger self. I love the look in her eyes. No text yet. The papers were loads of fun to make ranger resist inks with stamps, and my forlorn former self. I'm actually coming close to an end to this moleskine journal--it's starting to fall apart. This journal was all about the human face, fantasy, hopes, daydreams and the pleasure of putting pencil to page. Somewhere the girls grow to be women, and the women grow into aging. Skin sags and sallows, her eyes see it before it happens and she mourns her youth. The vibrance of the papers suggest a renewed purpose and goals. It is time to look outward instead of into a mirror that will only disappoint.